9 – It Hurts

Day: 43
Weight: 103


I’m updating on my phone from class today, so this’ll be somewhat quick, probably. Last week was great overall. Not feeling well sucked, but I am such a lucky girl. On Thursday, i won the meet, and my wonderful companion presented me with gorgeous pink flowers and balloons that said happy birthday on them. They were the prettiest flowers i have ever received.


Afterwards, we went to Neato Burrito together with some teammates and i had the best vegan burrito ever. Just rice, refried beans, lettuce, and honestly i think thats it, but it was wonderful.

Saturday night i had pizza with his family… But i had to remove the cheese, so it was just bread and sauce haha.

Yesterday i was craving out of my mind. I wanted a burger, but i couldn’t help that. I wanted chocolate, so while i was grocery shopping, i bought dark chocolate. It was nothing like the real thing though. I was craving McDonalds fries so badly. I DID buy a small fry while i was out, so i could and did cure that craving.

Food isn’t really filling me. It just goes through me now, and i don’t have much protein anymore. I get lactic aid burn after jogging 100 meters, or after just warming up or taking one jump in vaulting. I’m so weak, but channeling energy and pushing through while I’m vaulting; i can do that, despite the difficulty. My condition is bad though. Food looks good, but I can’t stomach it without feeling sick. You should’ve seen my lunch today: barely touched. I’ve slowed the weight loss; there’s not much to really lose anymore. My mental state is bad as well; i have a short temper, and Im so easily insulted. I’m ready for this to be over.

Wish me luck with my week. These next 13 days are going to be the hardest yet. Thanks for sticking with me.



7 – So Irritable

Day: 27

Weight: 105.5


Protruding ribs. Pain. A constant, achy pain all over. Cravings for chocolate. Cravings for steak. Cravings for milk.

My weight fluctuates a lot this week. Today I ate a pretty good amount, so I’m a little heavier than I was this morning. Didn’t give too much effort for the picture this week; I’m really not feeling it.

This’ll be a quick one, I have quite a bit to do, and honestly I’m not feeling too great.

Monday was pretty good, I had the pre-meet ritual salad from Texas Roadhouse, and Tuesday I vaulted pretty well, despite the cold. My facility coach expected 9 feet from me, but I managed to pretty much get my PR when I cleared 8’6″, and he was so proud of it. I got second place in vaulting against our rival school, and I was so happy, to have even placed against our rivals (they’re really good). The girl who won also jumped 8’6″, but because I knocked the bar off one of my jumps early on, and she didn’t, she won. It was a fair competition as always though, and I’m not upset with the outcome!


Wednesday to Friday were just “ehh”; I’m getting easily insulted by peers, even when they’re simply joking. I’m also not getting enough sleep. Wednesday night, I was up until 1am at the earliest, and awake for school at 5:30am. Thursday night, I was working on a Pre-calculus midterm project and I was up until 1:30am. Actually, I was working on it on the bed; have you ever sat on your bed, tired as can be, knowing you can’t go to sleep or you’ll fail? It’s a horrible feeling, trust me. Anyway, I was up at 5am Friday (yesterday) morning, and it was tough trying to get through the day. Last night was no better, I stayed up until 2:45am looking for and researching colleges. I had to wake up around 6:30 for my sister’s soccer game. I’m absolutely exhausted. But, on the bright side, I found my new top college choice: California University of Pennsylvania. Division II for pole vaulting, a state school, and I can study graphic design. It’s perfect.

This week is going to be demanding. Three trips to Texas Roadhouse for salad and bread, and three meets: regular dual meets on Tuesday and Thursday, and one invitational on Saturday. It’s going to be quite the eventful week and weekend. I’ll definitely let you know how it goes, obviously.

I’ll let ya get back to whatever you were doing now though, I have work to do. Until next week!


“The world is a beautiful place to be born into – if you don’t mind some people dying all the time – or maybe only starving – some of the time which isn’t half so bad – if it isn’t you.” -Lawrence Ferlinghetti

6 – Getting Pretty Difficult

Day: 21

Weight: 106.0


The weight loss isn’t showing just yet, as expected. But the other “symptoms” are. I’m in constant pain now, whether it be my abdomen, my calves, my quads, arms, all of the above, or whatever else. Track is slowly getting more difficult, and the workout Friday morning didn’t necessarily help. Or the upside-down crunches I did Thursday (hanging upside down on a bar, holding an 8lb medicine ball, then pulling my head to my knees over and over… possibly my favorite exercise!). They’re kind of impressive, in my opinion, plus they make my abs rock hard and toned 😉 But, in all seriousness, they still hurt, 3 days later (not usual for me).

Oh! And my “date” on Monday! It went really well, he was very sincere and quite the gentleman, but we didn’t “click” I suppose. But the dinner was great: salad with onions and croutons (allergic to the tomatoes and carrots, couldn’t have the hard boiled egg bits or the cheese), and made-from-scratch honey mustard dressing! It was delicious, and not to mention the meet on Tuesday went great. I believe it’s a thing of good luck, so I’ll probably end up getting a salad for takeout tomorrow evening, good luck for Tuesday 🙂

The meet last Tuesday went great, although I didn’t expect it. The weather was cold, extremely windy, and rainy. There were 9 vaulters, and somehow, in some way, I won, at a height of 8 feet 6 inches, just an inch below my personal record (which was set at an indoor meet at my training facility where it was warm). I was so happy, it felt so great to have shown that I indeed CAN accomplish something in vaulting. It reminded me of a chapter in The Kite Runner that I recently read as requirement in English class. The theme seems to be redemption. Like Amir, I redeemed myself, and though my dad was already proud of my vaulting, my coach didn’t expect the vaulters to take first and second. He expected less, and it felt so good to be able to show him that I was better than he thought, and that faith could be put into me. Redemption.

Friday night wasn’t so great. We had family over for dinner (and by family, I mean 20 people who are mostly all closely related, all crammed into my dining room), and I misinterpreted the freshness of the tomatoes in the tomato salad. It was delicious, but, unfortunately, upset my mouth and throat, and they became itchy. Naturally, I took Benadryl for it, and fell asleep at the dinner table while the adults around me talked about recent events. I felt like a horrible host, especially when everyone was leaving and I woke up after passing out on the couch in the basement. I suppose that’s why I’m still young, so I can make these mistakes and get away with abandoning our guests. Oh well.

So, tomorrow is Western Easter… Haha, I don’t have much to say to that, considering I have a month and 5 days to go! I’m hoping it wears the competition down (all that candy and overeating), because this next meet is against our rival school, and their vaulters are FANTASTIC. I’m aiming for third place. That’s my goal. Actually, not even third place. I want to make 9 feet happen. It’ll be a new personal record, and I’ll be able to truly redeem myself in front of my facility’s vaulting coach (who is the vaulting coach for our rival school). He expects 9 feet to take place, and I can’t let him down.

As far as Lent goes, this is where it’s really starting to get rough guys, things are going downhill… or uphill, whichever one is bad. But my spirit will stay strong through the week, and I will update when I have time.

Good night.

Choose rather to be strong of soul than strong of body.
– Pythagoras