9 – It Hurts

Day: 43
Weight: 103

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I’m updating on my phone from class today, so this’ll be somewhat quick, probably. Last week was great overall. Not feeling well sucked, but I am such a lucky girl. On Thursday, i won the meet, and my wonderful companion presented me with gorgeous pink flowers and balloons that said happy birthday on them. They were the prettiest flowers i have ever received.

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Afterwards, we went to Neato Burrito together with some teammates and i had the best vegan burrito ever. Just rice, refried beans, lettuce, and honestly i think thats it, but it was wonderful.

Saturday night i had pizza with his family… But i had to remove the cheese, so it was just bread and sauce haha.

Yesterday i was craving out of my mind. I wanted a burger, but i couldn’t help that. I wanted chocolate, so while i was grocery shopping, i bought dark chocolate. It was nothing like the real thing though. I was craving McDonalds fries so badly. I DID buy a small fry while i was out, so i could and did cure that craving.

Food isn’t really filling me. It just goes through me now, and i don’t have much protein anymore. I get lactic aid burn after jogging 100 meters, or after just warming up or taking one jump in vaulting. I’m so weak, but channeling energy and pushing through while I’m vaulting; i can do that, despite the difficulty. My condition is bad though. Food looks good, but I can’t stomach it without feeling sick. You should’ve seen my lunch today: barely touched. I’ve slowed the weight loss; there’s not much to really lose anymore. My mental state is bad as well; i have a short temper, and Im so easily insulted. I’m ready for this to be over.

Wish me luck with my week. These next 13 days are going to be the hardest yet. Thanks for sticking with me.

-Marina

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7 – So Irritable

Day: 27

Weight: 105.5

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Protruding ribs. Pain. A constant, achy pain all over. Cravings for chocolate. Cravings for steak. Cravings for milk.

My weight fluctuates a lot this week. Today I ate a pretty good amount, so I’m a little heavier than I was this morning. Didn’t give too much effort for the picture this week; I’m really not feeling it.

This’ll be a quick one, I have quite a bit to do, and honestly I’m not feeling too great.

Monday was pretty good, I had the pre-meet ritual salad from Texas Roadhouse, and Tuesday I vaulted pretty well, despite the cold. My facility coach expected 9 feet from me, but I managed to pretty much get my PR when I cleared 8’6″, and he was so proud of it. I got second place in vaulting against our rival school, and I was so happy, to have even placed against our rivals (they’re really good). The girl who won also jumped 8’6″, but because I knocked the bar off one of my jumps early on, and she didn’t, she won. It was a fair competition as always though, and I’m not upset with the outcome!

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Wednesday to Friday were just “ehh”; I’m getting easily insulted by peers, even when they’re simply joking. I’m also not getting enough sleep. Wednesday night, I was up until 1am at the earliest, and awake for school at 5:30am. Thursday night, I was working on a Pre-calculus midterm project and I was up until 1:30am. Actually, I was working on it on the bed; have you ever sat on your bed, tired as can be, knowing you can’t go to sleep or you’ll fail? It’s a horrible feeling, trust me. Anyway, I was up at 5am Friday (yesterday) morning, and it was tough trying to get through the day. Last night was no better, I stayed up until 2:45am looking for and researching colleges. I had to wake up around 6:30 for my sister’s soccer game. I’m absolutely exhausted. But, on the bright side, I found my new top college choice: California University of Pennsylvania. Division II for pole vaulting, a state school, and I can study graphic design. It’s perfect.

This week is going to be demanding. Three trips to Texas Roadhouse for salad and bread, and three meets: regular dual meets on Tuesday and Thursday, and one invitational on Saturday. It’s going to be quite the eventful week and weekend. I’ll definitely let you know how it goes, obviously.

I’ll let ya get back to whatever you were doing now though, I have work to do. Until next week!

Marina

“The world is a beautiful place to be born into – if you don’t mind some people dying all the time – or maybe only starving – some of the time which isn’t half so bad – if it isn’t you.” -Lawrence Ferlinghetti